Being brought up in what is now the ‘rape capital’ of India, you’re taught to adjust - your neckline, your behaviour, your seat, your gaze, your shawl/dupatta. Being stared at, catcalled, even ‘casually’ manhandled by passing men in the form of a bump or graze of the hand is something that you get used to, or get used to dodging. It becomes so ingrained in us, the adjustment, that it’s only when I relocatted to Mumbai that the incorrectness of this lifelong exercise hit me. People still stare and judge, but that need to square my shoulders, stick out my elbows on public transport so as to create personal space for myself out of reach of wandering hands has diminished, only to flare up again when I visit home.
There is a sense of responsibility that has long been imposed upon the women of this country for their own safety, their own protection. As cases of sexual assault, molestation and violence against women increased over the last few years, or at least increased in terms of media coverage, the narrative of victim shaming came to the forefront, forcing silence upon women yet again. This is where How Revealing comes in, in the form of a collective effort to speak out and spark change.
How Revealing is an online forum for people to share their own experiences with sexual assault and violence, as a victim or an observer, but it’s not just a website - it’s the beginning of a movement. The idea is to set discussions and conversations in every possible avenue, online, offline and on-ground.
“The idea behind the name How Revealing comes from the kind of reactions that accompany an incident. For instance, after an incident of molestation outside a bar, a common reaction is ‘Did you see how revealing her top was? No wonder she was molested!’ We want to do our bit to change this normalisation of and need for people to shame and appropriate blame on the person experience such incidents,” states their website.
“The more people talk about it, the more we can understand its scale and depth, and the better we can try to solve this issue, find different solutions, better solutions. Most importantly, in a country like India where there is so much stigma surrounding the issue, speaking openly and fearlessly will hopefully help reduce it, even if it is on a platform like ours,” says HRF.
The responses so far have been heartening says HRF, and from the stories we’ve read on the site, the team has managed to reach its aim. All the experiences shared tug at your heart strings for their honesty and sincerity. It’s gut-wrenching personal experiences that in a strange way provide a sense of comfort for other people who have been through a similar situation to know they are not alone - the importance of this platform and this discussion is only becoming clearer and clearer as time passes.
HRF strives to take these words and put them in action with the end game of impacting policy change in the country, build a resource directory for support and make it easier for people to talk about sexual assault and sexism in India.
“We are building a resource directory of organisations and persons that can provide support and assistance to people if they so wish to seek help.
We are not a forum to ‘report’ incidents of sexual assault but one to share, to let it out of your system, to speak out.
Finally, in time, and with enough stories, we hope this will be movement for change and we hope to be able to impact policy changes in the country. Hopefully, the website will be able to fill that vacuum of information and create awareness about the issue, show that it is so complex, yet so universal.”
How Revealing is a very important, much-needed forum for discussion, sharing and expression, one that is a safe judgement-free zone for people of all genders, nationalities and ages. You can share your own experiences on the site and connect with others as well. If you or someone you know has faced such violence, it’s important to talk about it and please seek appropriate help - you are not alone.