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“I get told off for what I do so many times but I ignore it. As long as my conscience tells me it is legitimate, I fight for it,” says Deepika Bhardwaj. An activist and filmmaker based in Delhi, it is easy to imagine the kind of reactions people would have when you learn about what she does. Her film Martyrs of Marriage (MoM) addresses something we normally would seek to address when we discuss gender politics and violence in India, and why would we anyway? Our country’s national capital is hailed as the rape capital of the world. Violence against women and girls, brutal and animalistic in many cases, has sadly become a regular occurrence. Rape videos are bought and sold in a growing industry in some regions and silencing of female victims of abuse for the sake of ‘family honour’ is a common occurrence.
“So many women are getting victimized in this country. Why do you choose to talk about men? They don’t need such a voice, such dedicated efforts” – a question put forth to Bhardwaj too. Coming across her TedTalk through comments about a men’s rights activist in a country plagued by violence against women intrigued me. MoM opens with a chilling video – Syed Ahmed Makhdoom records his final moments before committing suicide, lamenting his woes of harassment, extortion and a fake case of Dowry that haunted him till his death. I had to pause for a few seconds after seeing that video, and I could relate to Bhardwaj’s feelings in a way the first time she saw this video herself, and finally decided to raise her voice.
You could call Bhardwaj a men’s rights activist in a manner, but what she really does is shed light on the misuse of laws meant for the protection of women for purposes of extortion and harassment of those that are rarely considered victims in cases of gender-based abuse and violence, men.
She set upon this path following court visits with people close to her that found themselves in situations of divorce, asked for large sums of money and a threat of a dowry case slapped on them if they didn’t pay up. “When we are not aware of anything, that things like this can happen, we don’t prepare for it,” she tells Homegrown. “When I started doing research and working on the documentary I realised that the problem was much larger and It needed to be a very focused intervention,” she adds.
Emotional abuse of men does exist, as does sexual and physical and for a variety of reasons we don’t really hear of it or really gauge the magnitude of the situation. Over four years of filming, Bhardwaj met family members and victims of fake dowry cases who have spent years fighting a battle where the cards are usually stacked against them. It is the systematic abuse of people through the legal system. In the film, we are shown the misuse of a law, Section 498A, and Bhardwaj exerts at the beginning of the film that it is “not intended to undermine crime against women but bring to light the abuse of a special provision made for their protection.” And her research for and through the documentary is as thorough as it is thought-provoking, and that is the point of any film addressing a social issue isn’t it – leading people to question their assumptions, beliefs and see things from another perspective.
We are presented with a tricky terrain and the message of the film, at least what this writer inferred, are many: Violence and abuse have no gender and as a result, there need to be gender-neutral laws that protect the rights and dignity of all citizens regardless of gender identification and sexual orientation. As erstwhile Union Minister of Law and Justice, Ashwani Kumar points out in the film, it is not a men versus women debate that is being addressed through the contemplation of 498A, it needs to “be a gender-neutral debate.” For such a change to take place, we need to first recognise the realities of people that are often not given a voice. “People need to accept that, OK this is also happening, and this is also an issue of concern,” comments Bhardwaj.
Bhardwaj isn’t an apologist for male perpetrators of crimes and dowry-related abuse and violence. She presents another face to the law and its existence, and comments on the need, not for repeal, but for better provisions when a law is used to a tool of vengeance and greed by some rather than the necessary protection that it has provided for countless women across the country. It’s not preaching for the removal of laws but a call for recognition that has been previously denied, the plight of men and their family members (in the film we’re shown a case of a toddler being cited among family members in a false case, and in another, an ailing elderly grandmother who was taken in) that get caught up in the mix for years and the impact it can have on their lives, financially, emotionally and professionally. It is a call for the persecution of lawyers that goad women into filing false cases to make big bucks. For a better process of evidence collection and more witness statements from spouses’ families and not just the women’s.
The two sides of the coin are presented to us through this documentary and the point of it all is that you can’t pick a side. In this writer’s humble opinion, what we can all probably agree upon at least is what Justice SN Dhingra, former Judge of Delhi High Court, addresses is the need for better provisions for people to address false complaints. A better system, efficient mechanism that aids all people to seek redressal if they are falsely accused of a crime and acquitted. MoM stirs up a lot of emotions in viewers, and often times you find yourself contemplating how such a matter can be dealt with so as to ensure that no one falls behind.
Each victims experience in the film is engaging, compelling and heart-wrenching, and Bhardwaj presents her own case with a strong voice and including objective supporters of her cause as well as the critics.
We need to be able to focus on more than one thing at a time when it comes to equality and gender politics. it is not an either/or situation, nor is it of ‘woman over man’ – that is the call for gender equality. Progress needs to be simultaneously and seeking justice, regardless of the situation, needs to be made a process that we turn to with confidence and ease rather than dread and disheartenment.
MoMa is not anti-feminist. It does not call for the removal of the Anti-Dowry Act, nor does it question the need for such a law to be in place. It addresses the misuse of IPC 498A, it raises questions that we should be asking, tells stories that should be given a chance to be heard. It is available for viewing on Netflix and you can learn more about it on the official website.
For those in need, you can contact her at martyrsofmarriage@gmail.com
Feature image courtesy of Deepika Bhardwaj via Facebook.
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