An Indian Artist's Illustration Gives A Glimpse Into Depression & Depicts What It Means To Be Stuck

Illustration by Subhulakshimi Mehalingam

Mental health, until recently, had been a tabooed subject in India, so much so that the testimonies of many people suffering from various such disorders were kept under wraps. Many people who had been brave enough to converse about it, were cornered and stigmatised, or in the worst cases, not taken seriously. This is probably because of the false belief that such disorders are caused by faulty ways of thinking and poor life choices and therefore lack legitimacy. The reality is that every year, millions of people all over the world fall prey to mental health issues, and more often than not, they are not even aware of it. The goal is to make people aware of it, so that they can get help as and when necessary, and also eradicate the stigma around it. In order to raise awareness and educate the public about mental illnesses, Mental Health Awareness Month was started in the United States in May, 1949 by the Mental Health America organisation.

In celebration of the Mental Health Awareness Month, we are happy to introduce to our readers, Subhulakshimi Mehalingam, an artist from Mumbai, who has had a first-hand experience of what depression felt like, and has depicted it beautifully through one of her latest illustrations. It is an insightful revelation of a state of stupor that can hit anyone at any given moment without any warning. Through her art, she strives to remind people to live mindfully, taking each day as it comes, rather than succumbing to the vicious cycle of thoughts that play on in our heads.

I. Could you elaborate on the inspiration behind your art?

Having come out to the other side with the gift of insight, I wanted to illustrate what depression feels like. You’re stuck in a maze of your thoughts with no real way out. You’re lost in your own mind, playing victim to yourself. So I made this as a reminder for me and everyone else to get out of their heads more often and to let life happen.

II. What are some of your biggest inspirations over the years of your artistic career & why?

I draw inspiration from every intangible aspect of being alive, relying heavily on my emotions and personal experiences. Also having grown up in a very traditional Tamil household, it’s a big part of who I am. So, I try to consciously bring that to the table.

III. How have you been coping with the loss of agency in quarantine?

I feel like I’ve gone through the five stages of grief with quarantine: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and now finally acceptance. Although, mostly, I’m just grateful to be at home with my family. I know not many share that privilege.

IV. Can you give us an insight into your journey with depression?

It was the best and the worst thing to happen to me. For the first time in my life, I let myself feel all my feelings. I sat with them and listened to them. Then I let them go. And I am still. You wake up and do it everyday. You take away all that isn’t you, all that’s weighing you down so you can heal all your bruises. We all go through misfortunes, but in the end, all of this exists in our minds and if we make it our whole lives without that realisation, we’re not going to be having much fun along the way. It’s important that you learn to conquer yourself before you can take on the world. Don’t hold onto things too much, or your thoughts. See through the space between them. Slow down then slow down some more. It’s all pretend and it’s all fun. You have creative freedom in this endless canvas woven with space-time and the magical, mystical tools at play.

V. How has it affected your art?

I know the importance of love. Filling up your cup so that you’re spilling everywhere you go and everyone that you come into contact with. I know that you can paint something beautiful with whatever colour of choice. With happy, sad, hurt, anxious, kind. After all, it’s all pure white light. Distorted for your pleasure.

VI. Are there any Indian contemporaries of yours whose work you admire? (please share Instagram handles)

@artistation_ps

VII. Which is your favourite piece of work of your own & why?

“Kintsugi” from 2018. It was my first glimpse as an artist into how therapeutic and transcendental putting myself on paper can be.

VIII. One track you’re currently listening to?

Desoleil by Loyle Carner.

IX. Your favourite midnight munchies?

Leftover papadam or ghee on toast

X. Your greatest vice?

Self-doubt

You can check out her Instagram here.

If you enjoyed reading this article, we suggest you also read: