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“Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair, so that I may climb thy golden stair.”
Assuming (and hoping) that you recognise this reference from the Brothers Grimm’s fairytale or even the movie Tangled, you must know just how important a role hair plays in a woman’s life –– or at least, we’ve been made to believe that it must –– especially in India.
Many Indians’ whims and fancies revolve around the lives of those that surround them –– a neighbour, a relative or even just someone you pass by on the street. ‘Why is her hair like that?’, ‘What’s with the tacky outfit?’, ‘How did her parents allow her to come out like this?’ and so on.
While the judgement that is passed itself knows no gender, the one passing it is cognizant of the fact that, for the major part, the targeted person is a woman.
Priyanka Yadav, a research analyst from Delhi spoke to us about a seemingly simple act of shaving her head –– rather simpler without society’s constant scrutiny over women, their bodies and their choices.
For as long as she remembers, she has found the look and style of a shaved head incredibly appealing –– just how one enjoys tattoos or coloured hair. And so, ideally, losing her hair by choice should be next to insignificant for others, but we live in India.
“I never wanted to do it to be a rebel, I just wanted to be an example. There was no need for me to do it –– I just wanted to.”
A wish no different from any other, Priyanka’s ‘I-really-want-to-shave-my-head’ craving was not a phase. After persistent hesitation from her parents and some friends, she was determined to get it done. The day finally came when something sparked in her, and out the door she went straight after her usual shower.
“Even the people at the salon looked at me in disbelief. They repeatedly asked me if I’m sure I want to do it –– each time I said ‘yes’. They even called their manager to make sure this would be okay to do. After much explaining, they understood what I want and went ahead with it.”
Here’s the thing, though –– if a man were to make the same request, would they have been doubtful? Maybe. Would they have been as doubtful as they were in Priyanka’s case? Absolutely not. When I questioned her on this disparity, she rightly pointed out that it is not that men do not face judgement – they do – but on a much smaller, almost incomparable scale. The question is –– why do Indians feel the need to place the importance of identity and dignity in a woman’s hair?
“All Indian goddesses have long, thick hair. We are taught to believe that we are beautiful if we have that. Bald women are ‘out of the ordinary’ –– it is something Indians are not used to.”
With increasing pressure from her family to get married, Priyanka faced her fair share of apprehensions. It is not easy to let go of something that everyone in your life identifies you by. However, at some point, Priyanka’s wishes outweighed the opinions of others.
A look people assume to be synonymous with sickness, baldness is rarely ever thought of as a choice. Priyanka will attest to the fact that just by losing her hair, people look at her differently. It’s funny what the most lifeless part of your body can signify –– from a mark of recognition to the evaluation of your identity. As women, we are subject to a plethora of judgements anyway, and for Priyanka to go against the societal norm and make herself happy and content is no small feat.
To Priyanka, and to the many women out there just like her –– if losing your hair is what it takes to gain joy, go ahead. If defying an age-old perception of what a woman should be and look like gives you satisfaction, do it. I hope for you, and those around you realise that a change in perception is all it takes to make the world a better place for us. Whether you’re bald or still on the verge of chopping your hair off, I hope you know your worth lies in things larger and more important than a few strands of hair.
Watch Priyanka’s journey and thoughts, as narrated by her.
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