I Met Mumbai's Nicest Auto Driver - He's Got Free Wifi & Anecdotes For Days

[Editor’s Note -- Let’s face it. If we had the opportunity to substitute punching bags with an entire sub-sect of people, a vast number of us would nominate Mumbai’s auto drivers for the role. Sure, we’ve all had a few, decent experiences along the lines of ‘wow, he almost didn’t cheat me’ or ‘thank goodness he didn’t joyously sneer at my helplessness while he declined to drop me to any of the five fake location options I just offered him. This must be my lucky day.’

Basically, despite the resilience the media tries to whitewash our Mumbaikar spirit with, we’ve never been able to fight the cynicism we feel when greeted with a nice rickshaw driver. Is there even such a thing? Thankfully, Aakash Shivdasani didn’t succumb to our ugly skepticism. Instead, he turned his chance encounter with one of the city’s kindest auto drivers into the kind of narrative that will undoubtedly make you smile, if not actually show some gratitude to your auto driver today. Read on to acquaint yourself with Sandeep Bachche’s, winner of 5 CNN IBN Young Leader Awards, inspiring journey.]

Everyone’s got a story. In this manic, cut-throat city bursting with entrepreneurial spirit, the aam aadmi’s tale often makes for the most interesting recounting. On my 40-minute commute today, I witnessed and heard a veritable movie script.

Sandeep Bachche - ”King of bandra”- as his visiting card heralds, is one of 4,00,000 regular, run-of-the-mill auto drivers. His auto, however, is anything but. The three-wheeler is a sheer microcosm of everything this city, and its people, embodies - religion, commerce, Bollywood, charity and self-aggrandisement. Every inch of the vinyl roof is covered in posters and notices of services offered (beyond that of transportation) clippings of his awards and accomplishments, cut outs of his favourite stars, special discounts ( 50% for the blind,25% for the handicapped and 10% for newlyweds - this last one at odds with another sign that says “please don’t misbehave”) and even information on charity options.

The dashboard behind his steering wheel and the lion’s share of his windscreen are dedicated to a pantheon of Gods of every religion and political figures, past and present , that he idolises. However, he is quick to point out - running a hand across a predominant decal - that he is above all “proud to be Indian”.

The space behind the passenger’s seat is an altar to charity where a miniature post-box serves as a piggy bank. Good Karma aside, he also invites you to “take 1 sweet” when you make a donation. There is a little basket of paper serviettes beside an air freshener. To lend further credibility to his charitable endeavours, there are cut-outs of him at award functions and his first time on an airplane. As a fan of Sanjay Dutt’s everyman avatar - munnabhai- Sandeep peppers his auto with quotes and cut-outs of his Hero.
Among the altruistic services he offers are a wireless PCO phone, a bottle of mineral water (this thoughtful feature notwithstanding ,the cynic in me wondered at the mouths that have encircled that top ) a fire extinguisher, free shuttle to hospitals in case of emergencies, chargers for your mobile phone, a DVD movie presentation every evening and devotional songs from 7 am to 11 am. For those that keep an eye out for these things in an auto, he also provides daily ForEx rates and gold prices on a slate - information he carefully gleans from the ticker on a business channel every morning. His charities include but are not limited to, Cancer patients and medicines for the old and homeless.

There are a few tell-tale signs of his personal philosophies as well. ”Wife hai toh Life hai,” “Pls behave yourself “ ( subtly implying that necking in the back seat will be frowned upon) and a satirical caricature of an emaciated farmer feeding a fat cat in a suit with a caption that reads “Yeh Mera India.”

For all this, Sandeep has been awarded the CNN IBN young leader award 5 Times. And he lets you know. This was where the conversation took an interesting, hilarious, heart-warming turn. Narrated in that Mumbai-special patois of Hindi that the ‘tapori’ Munnabhai was based on this is a recollected ,somewhat lost in translation account of his first ever taste of the high life courtesy the award ceremony organisers:

”Plane itna tez bhagta hai re!” From someone who’s rarely done over 50 kmph.
”Oopar se Juhu kitna mast lagta hai bhai:” From having an intimate sea level relationship with every by-lane of said suburb.

”Lekin chai alag se,doodh alag se aur shakar ka ek chota packet - apna tapri ka cutting sahi hai, Boss.”

But the moment that he says brought tears to his eyes (cue violins) was when there was a chauffeur from the Taj waiting to pick him up at the airport-placard and all. Upon having the door opened for him, Sandeep couldn’t help but tell the driver - one of his brethren - that he was an auto driver , accustomed to sitting up front . He’d never been a passenger let alone in an air conditioned car.

Oh for the prescience to have used the voice recorder on my phone for the Taj experience! From the welcome reception where the ‘ladies log’ gave him a teeka and a garland to his being shown his room. “Apna 10 X 10 ka Mumbai chaal se yeh mahal tak.”  Picture this man - mustering his dignity and a quietude born of humility to put up a nonchalant face while being inwardly mesmerised by environs-opulent by any standard - downright overwhelming by his. In his own words “aisa bistar aisa kursi aisa carpet ...dimaag kharab hone ko aaya!”

Having being instructed to freely order up room service and partake of other 5 star perks, Sandeep called for rotis and kadai chicken . When the portions were mind-bogglingly deemed sufficient for two, the waiter was promptly commanded to dine with him; a first for the tear-jerked waiter. “Kya mast dabaya hum dono ne...aur phir woh apna photo bhi liya...yakeen nahin aaya ki hotel mein seth ke saath khana khaya.”
Belly full, Sandeep then proceeded to the next ride in his Disneyland-esque room - the bathroom. In two nights and three days he took roughly 10 showers and baths. To see his entire body contort and writhe in joy, emulating the pleasure of a massage shower while he recounts this particular experience, “pata nahin kahan kahan se paani nikal raha tha.” The toothbrush and bar of soap he carried came back to Bombay untouched ; the toiletries in the room, depleted several times over.

The greatest scrub down known to man complete, Sandeep then decides to explore his room, opening drawers and cupboards till he chances upon the mini bar “woh cubbaard kholo toh fridge lagela hai andar mein.” Apprehension hits as he debates whether ,like the toiletries, these delicacies (Johnny walker is mentioned a few times ) are gratis. Prudence gets the better of greed and he tentatively opts for a mini Cadbury bar. Unsure whether they will find what’s gone missing, he crumples and hides the wrapper, just to be sure. Next, he uses the phone to call his wife long distance, blissfully unaware of the STD charges.

Needless to say, checkout is a tad embarrassing when he’s asked if he made a phone call and helped himself to the mini bar. “Unko kaisa pata chala, Bhai?” To Sandeep, any form of questioning by  figure of authority carries an accusatory tone but he’s put at ease by the CNN-IBN rep who slaps his back and tells him how less well-behaved guests empty the mini bar when it’s comped.

Sandeep skims over the details of the actual award ceremony - he’s an old hand at these things by now. However, he does impress upon me one anecdote of note. At the after party (where, unaware of the existence of a proper main course, he gorged on the hors d’oeuvres and desert and lived to regret it ) he was summoned to the VIP area at the behest of a politician from his home state who wished to congratulate him on his award and generally indulge in some vote bank camaraderie (not lost on Sandeep - one would think if there was any networking to be taken advantage of , it would be on his part). Taking his leave, having declined the offer of a drink , Sandeep realised that the net worth in that room must have been a ‘few crores’ yet no one made an offer of donation to his charities - one of the many things his award was in recognition of.

At the end of his tales, told with childlike glee and immediately discounted with a I-don’t-put-much-stock-in-these-things air, there is the wistful ‘I wish my wife and kids could have been with me.’ And the cynic in me is back. Is this a masked plea for a personal handout? I’ve been taken on a ride with this man in more ways than one and yet I can’t help but wonder at the authenticity of his magnanimity. Is this just another shrewd entrepreneur trying to stand out from the competition? Does every penny go towards the things he’s advocating or is Johnny Walker the lucky beneficiary? And then I notice the hastily, crudely stitched tear in his union issued khaki shirt; the bottle of mineral water is for guests only - he has his own, held in a sawed off bit of drainpipe that’s tacked on to the side of his seat. And CNN IBN must have done due diligence. I feel myself giving him the benefit of doubt and let my purse strings open when it comes time to settle my fare.

If you live in the Bandra - Juhu area, keep an eye out for this guy. If nothing else, he’ll make your morning a little more interesting. And do check out his Facebook and YouTube links. Ahem.

Image Credit: Mumbai Mag & Aakash’s Facebook Note

[Aakash Shivdasani {www.rgbastudios.com} is a 36-year-old entrepreneur still wondering whether he works to live or lives to work. When he’s not running his boutique visual effects animation studio, he’s either kicking back with a new book, sliding an FPS game into the xbox, putting a bazillion megabytes of his favourite shows on download or planning his next holiday (Tokyo’s calling). Still suffering from a love-hate relationship with the city he’s called home for over 12 years, he cannot deny its ability to fuel his inner penman. This is his first homage to one of its many faces. All he can promise is that the rest will have the puritans and prudes baying for his blood.]