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In March 2015, the controversial documentary on the 2012 Delhi Rape Case titled ‘India’s Daughter’ went viral on social media. In the film, one of the convicted rapists remorselessly states, “you can’t clap with one hand alone. A girl is also responsible for rape.” His thoughts seemed to resonate with most people in Haryana, as was seen in the documentary released by Quint on the state’s shockingly prevalent rape culture a few months ago. There, everyone from an old man to an adolescent girl and a young boy was seen re-iterating the kind of repulsive thoughts about women that shouldn’t be surprising to us anymore, but are shocking all the same. It’s the same attitude from which the kind of evil we have been witnessing off late, stems from. In the form of an 8-year-old being brutally gang-raped over power and communal hatred or a rape survivor’s father being tortured and killed in police custody. But even as the entire nation has erupted in outrage and debate, demanding probes, death penalties and attending protests, several more ghastly rapes have already happened across the country and brought to limelight that this problem is much more deep-rooted than we’re willing to accept right now. And it’s left us with the kind of questions that have no hard and fast, let alone easy answers. Is this an all-time new low for our country? Has this become our new normal? Where is this mindset stemming from? And most importantly, where do we go from here?
Two days ago, legal researcher Swagata Raha published an article stating our recent clamouring for death penalty in child rape cases is both reactionary and disproportionate. When you take into account the scale and causes of the issue, her remarks are not unfounded. When over 94.6% of the perpetrators are known to the victims–often relatives or family friends–the chances of reporting goes down. But more importantly still, it’s a band-aid on a gunshot wound. We already have a host of good systems in place for both child protection and women’s safety however, its terrible implementation is not being pointed out at all. But if there’s anything the events of the last few weeks have taught us, it’s that our institutions cannot be trusted. Not when they have turned into perpetrators of the very violence they are meant to protect us from. In these moments, they must be circumvented, and our energy and resources must instead be poured into the people and ground level organisations doing the kind of work that is truly effecting change when it comes to mindsets. Those people who understand that protective, preventive solutions are far more worthy than quick ‘cures’ post the brutality. They exist and we spoke to as many as we could to paint the picture we all need right now–there is hope. We just have to start taking the right steps.
I. Understand Your (Our) Own Complicity In Rape Culture
Most answers lie within us, and these issues that seem so far removed from our reality are actually closer home than you think. Rape culture and the deep prejudice, inequity, misogyny and patriarchal system it stems from permeates everything. We grow up learning it, wittingly or unwittingly. Identify it in your own surroundings and work towards seeding it out. It could be the sexist/ communal jokes that make the rounds of your family whatsapp group. It could be the fact that your brother is never made to feel like he has to share the burden of housework, even though you both work equally hard at your respective jobs. It could be the domestic violence you hear in your neighbour’s house every evening. It could be the fact that your domestic help isn’t allowed to touch the cutlery you eat with. It could be the fact that your boss thinks it’s ok to message you in the middle of the night telling you how nice you looked in that blue dress today and it could be your taxi driver telling you not to dress a certain way out of concern. At a larger societal level, these things translate to deep, deep inequities between genders, communities, and a terrible power dynamic wherein anyone who is not an upper caste Hindu male has reason to fear for their safety and life. This is not an exaggeration, it is our reality. So identify where you fall within these structures and work towards unshackling yourself from them first, even as you try to empower those who may not be as privileged as you.
Though we may not have personally molested or abused anyone, we too in a way are complicit in perpetrating the rape culture - it is a byproduct of patriarchy. Sexual offenders are people nurtured in our own society. India has the highest number of child brides in the world. It sees almost 35,000 rapes a year - and these are the ones that just get reported. We have a conviction rate of rape as low as 24.21%.
II. Don’t Turn A Blind Eye To The Different Ground Realities
In a diverse country like India, understanding the root cause of such problems and crushing them from where they stem from is easier said than done. Think countless cultures with their own sets of rigid belief systems stemming from historical and social contexts. And it’s important not to remove them from their context. According to Atiya Bose, Executive Director of Aangan that works to strengthen India’s Child Protection System, “the points of vulnerability, the kinds of choices or rather it’s lack thereoff, differ from one community to the other”. Citing an example, she states, “Women in tribes who are seasonal migrants are most exposed to abuse when they begin migrating. So, a father chooses to have her married off young so he wouldn’t have to bear the responsibility of her safety anymore. ”
Thus to change mindsets at a grass root level, one requires immense understanding of the situation people are in, their traditions, their beliefs, their lifestyle, the times they’ve been brought up in etc. - a daunting task that no institution has been able to wrap their hands around in their full capacity. Though several NGOs stationed across various parts of the country in both urban and rural pockets are working with the communities at the ground level, the need of the hour is to rewire the fabric of society by approaching different communities in ways most suited to them.
III. Vote and Support
At a policy level, several schemes to protect women and child rights are up and running on paper but for them to translate into action more efficiently, our lawmakers and officers at the elected positions should believe in them as well. Sadly, time and time again they have disappointed the nation by their disgusting statements that bring to light their chauvinistic attitudes.
But let us not forget that it is us who elect them - their attitude is a mirror to what most of our society thinks. So while it is obvious that we need to be smarter about who we vote for, we must also continue to hold them accountable while extending our support to these institutions and its policies when time comes to scale. In our country, most women’s helplines do not work, the child protection committee is vastly under-resourced, fast-track courts are over-burdened, corruption is seeping in at every level. It is in times like these that we need to extend our support to organisations that work in tandem with the government by donating tangible resources - cash, kind, services etc. If possible, volunteer at such organisations. Identify your skill sets that would be poignant in helping the survivors. Reach out to not just understand the bitter realities of the country from a grass root level perspective but also to bring forth a substantial change. If not time, then offer what little you can. Start small and incremental, it will make all the difference.
IV. Educate
India is one of the youngest countries in the world and thus contemporary education and schools need to dedicate substantial amount of time to make sure it is not producing youth that grows up with a majoritarian complex or believing that women are naturally inferior. Sex itself needs to be majorly de-stigmatized and the concept of ‘consent’ needs to be clearly explained.
Most of the kids in rural areas and even urban slums are first-generation learners. Though organisations like Teach For India and Insight Walk who encourage an alternative system of learning and community involvement to provide the students with a more progressive approach, the fact of the matter is that the atmosphere in the house, where they spend more time than school still remains the same. Growing up in an environment where gender discrimination is so rampant, the children tend to normalize it as well. The first step is to watch our own actions, because children are vulnerable. Secondly, we need to make them aware of the issue - to bring back women who run households into education, by training them to educate the next generation.
V. Reach Out Through Vernacular Media
While mindsets of children can be more easily dealt with, it is the people who’ve come of age whose mindsets remain rigid - a result of years of social conditioning they have been a subject to. Though social media and new age media publications have been doing their roles in encouraging dialogue and awareness amongst people about taboo topics, their reach remains extremely limited. A large part of our population has no access to the internet, to computers or smartphones. Moreover, people who do, tend to follow pages that resonate the most with them than those that conflict. Thus progressive content that encourages logical thinking and critical questioning is often consumed by people who align with liberal, progressive thoughts and who are lucky enough to have access to such information sources in the first place. So the attention needs to be shifted to building independent regional media and literature. Vernacular language has a more powerful influence on people to create a ground level impact. For example, a venture like Video Volunteers, a media organisation which empowers marginalized people to tell their stories or Khabar Leheriya, an Indian newspaper, published in certain rural dialects is entirely produced by rural women. The newspaper which also has an online presence is unique as it covers regional conflicts and reports unabashedly about instances of domestic violence, sexual offence etc.
VI. Create Awareness Through Everyday Conversations
Several NGOs and institutions are working where resources and exposure can’t reach but as urban, relatively privileged people, the responsibility lies on us equally to identify such traits within ourselves and then change mindsets of our own peers and family members through open dialogue, understanding and conversation.
“It works better if someone within the family or community addresses this issue, rather than us. Then other members are more open to accepting it,” says Atiya Bose. Addressing one issue at hand, for example calling out the person who sent that sexist joke or encouraging your brother to help around in domestic chores and educating him as to why it is important will help immensely and curb other actions it may lead to.
VII. Be Aware, Interfere
Keep your eyes open for abuse amongst your neighbors and immediate community and if found, interfere, report. This is exactly what NGOs too train a few select women within the community for. Citing an example, Atiya tells us, “A woman from the community, who we have trained and sensitized towards child protection and women rights, during her research and data collection finds out that the minor girl living in House Number 5 in Lane Number 3 is about to get married, then she can galvanize the community and approach local authorities who are said to take action pertaining to specific information, faster. If the authorities are able to stop child marriage, they may also be effectively curbing potential problems that might arise out of this, such as child trafficking, abuse, marital rape etc. Of course, there are national statistics put out on crimes against children and women, but these are mere numbers on the page. Local research and local dialogue are what would lead to quicker, more focused actions.”
VIII. Bring Men Into The Conversation
Simply empowering women and alienating men from the conversation won’t help at all - in fact, it will lead to achieving just the opposite. We’re seeing more and more that as women become more emancipated, men feel more threatened Include boys and men in the conversation and understand and tackle their thoughts and feelings about women and expectations of themselves from a young age. Each time they say anything even remotely sexist stop and ask them, what is it that makes them say that? Then debate. Don’t let it pass just because it is ‘harmless humor.’ Over and above this, toxic masculinity affects their own ability to express and emote. Encourage emotional expression and let them know that their behaviour is acceptable, even when it is not necessarily ‘manly.’
IX. Be Patient
Keep raging, but understand that for someone who has been part of a cultural system for so long, it is difficult to galvanize a community, a generation to come to the reality of things. According to Nicole, Co-founder of Leher, child rights organization working to make child protection a shared responsibility, it is all about taking baby steps. “You can’t walk into the community and tackle the biggest issue at hand. Start with small issues, talk to them, understand their perspective, gain their trust and then slowly make your way to bigger issues. It is a long process and it won’t happen in a day.”
Traces of change can be seen, but it will take years and decades for people to start thinking in a certain way. While it is a utopian thought to even hope of an entire country that believes in equality, it is the little things that make the difference. One person, one family, one community, one leader, one agency at a time, until we clap with both our hands, remorselessly at the change we have created.
Feature Image Courtesy : Reuters/Amit Dave
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