We’ve all spent countless hours spiralling down the rabbit hole of overthinking, with one thought after the other making us question the possibilities and dwelling on the what-ifs. There is something about a chaotic track like debut artist Ayaan Sawant’s Pointdexter that bears a close semblance to this constant loop of overthinking we are all guilty of indulging in. At some level, his rhythmical rap (on the surface similar to Eminem’s rapping style) sounds like a monologue of the thoughts in our minds. The trumpet-like sound in the background further adds to the flow and rhythm of the track.
The rap explores themes of being your true authentic self, friendship, loneliness, mental health, and feelings of constant anxiety. The song, almost confessional in nature, starts with the lyrics ‘As a child, I wanted to grow up so I could be myself,’ and ends on a bittersweet note. The last 45 seconds of the rap are perhaps the most vulnerable and honest in nature with the rapper revealing his struggles with mental health, suicidal thoughts, and depression. The envoi begins with, ‘Developed a bitchin voice in my head/ It told me: Fill the sink and hold my head in till I’m dead’ and ends on a slightly triumphant note with the rapper singing ‘I’m king of my world and I’m so glad I’m not you.’ The song, thus, comes a full circle from wanting to grow up to be himself to the bittersweet realisation after all the struggles that he was happy to be the king of his own world and be himself.
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