In any year prior to 2020, we may have wished (more than once) for time to ourselves – to relax and to think of things as useless as recounting the colours of all the Teletubbies. While it is true that with the dawn of the year that now seems never-ending, we did receive time to fulfil our wishes, there was a strange urge to make the most of it as well. We received this time in excess, all at once, unwillingly and under unprecedented situations.
Here we are, 10 months into the year, with a brain scrambled more than it was when the year began, and still no knowledge of the colour of each Teletubby.
It would, however, be unfair to reduce how we feel and behave to ‘a scrambled brain’.
According to a news report by NDTV, the World Health Organisation estimated that 7.5% of Indians already suffer from mental health disorders and that by the end of 2020, that percentage would escalate to a massive 20%. If that seems like a small number, here’s something to put it into perspective – India is a country of 1.38 billion people, which means that by the end of the year, 276 million Indians will be victim to mental unrest.
The conversation around mental health in the past few years has allowed us to recognise the importance of it – no different from our physical well being, our mental health deserves just as much attention. For the sake of statistics, we may be clubbed together as victims of mental health issues, but it must be acknowledged that each person’s situation is unique.
We understand that even though we may go from enraged to upset to excited for not the biggest events over 24 hours, it may still be difficult to draw the lines between those emotions. Such is the nature of mental health when put to test – we struggle to piece together the puzzle of our own mind. Throw a pandemic and several lockdowns in the mix, and your mental health begins to challenge you.
Having realised and acknowledged that, we thought to ask our readers where their heads are at during this bizarre time. The responses were painful, relatable, and unique all at once. We may not be experts at analysing people’s mental health, especially at such a sensitive time, but here is our attempt.
A word about our responses:
- The age group of our respondents ranged from 20-30 years old.
- Most of our respondents were from Bengaluru, Pune, Nagpur and Mumbai. Others were from Indian cities like Kolkata, Chandigarh, Ranchi and Thiruvananthapuram. We also received responses from Brisbane, Boston and Fullerton.
- 47% of our respondents do not suffer from any chronic physical or mental illness, while 41% of them do. 11% preferred not to say.
- 53% of our respondents do not seek help from a therapist on a regular basis, while 17.5% of them do. 17.5% of the respondents did avail therapy before the lockdown, but have discontinued it since. 6% of them used to but gave it up due to financial and travel issues, and 6% of them seek help from a therapist only when a pressing issue arises.
- For qualitative purposes, the respondents were not forced to choose from just a selection of options and were allowed to give us insight in their own words.
The Path To Uncertainty
53% of our respondents feel that they are in a better position now than they were in at the start of quarantine – various activities have guided them well, so far.
29% of them still feel bogged down by the situation and struggle to recognise ways to feel better.
18% of them feel that they are in an ‘okay’ position – neither miserable nor excellent.
Unfortunately, the novel Coronavirus was not the only health hazard that plagued the world. Along with it, came the onset of deteriorating mental health for people across countries – there’s not much else we can expect to get from being cooped up endlessly in a particular space, away from the physical comfort of those we usually depend on during such tough times.
From the beginning of quarantine up to this point, we found ways to make ourselves feel, if not okay, just a little bit better. We realised with time, that 2020 is not the year to fulfil expectations or achieve mammoth goals – just looking after ourselves is more than enough. Keeping this very thought in her mind, 22-year-old Ishani from Kolkata says, “Initially, tears wouldn’t stop and I would have way too many breakdowns. Eventually, I learned to be comfortable with myself. I was introduced to yoga by a friend. I took breath coaching classes, learned to be okay with myself and silence.”
Similarly, 23-year-old Aditya from Nagpur says, “Looping through a mix of therapeutic runs, passionate cooking, unconditional love, extreme uncertainty, occasional loneliness, recurring anxiety and every day, believing more in ‘Self-love is the first romance’.” Aditya leaves us with much to ponder over – if self-love is our first romance, why did it take an entire pandemic for us to realise so?
While some may have found a path around mental health care for themselves, there are many that continue to struggle. Meg G from Mumbai says, “I haven’t been able to move forward mentally even though physically, I’ve worked, learnt new things and spent time understanding my parents and see how I function close-up. I’ve been on my worst behaviour – needy, erratic and conflicting. Most days, I sulk or stress myself into sickness, if I’m not temporarily floaty and talkative.”
Alone vs. Lonely
70% of our respondents were comfortable with talking about how they have recently been feeling and dealing with the challenges 2020 has thrown at them.
The remaining 30% did not feel like doing so.
‘Alone time’, as we call it, causes a predicament in 2020 like no other – maybe it’s because we have now had an abundance of it, or maybe it’s because some of us never really got the chance to be alone, to begin with.
When asked to talk about the challenges our respondents are facing during this time, there seemed to be a consistent feeling of anxiety across the board caused by reasons different to each individual.
24-year-old Vanya from Ranchi opens our eyes to of a particular kind of failure that makes things even more challenging. She says, “Not having a proper schedule has been a constant struggle. Not lying, I have read about 6 books and 40 articles on time management and productivity. I have started religiously following YouTubers who discuss productivity, and yet, I continue to falter. That kind of ‘failure’ causes a lot of anxiety.” She adds that this anxiety heightened to a point where she was unable to function at all.
Aditya seems to agree and says, “The feeling of being stuck, restricted, and especially not being able to move forward has taken a serious toll on my mental health. Sometimes, I sit around in an absolute torpid state.”
On the whole, our respondents seem to be uneasy about things they were not about before the pandemic. Our behaviours are a response to the situations around us, and feeling such emotions must not be reduced to ‘sulking’, or ‘pulling the mood down’. Fortunately or maybe, unfortunately, it seems to get better with time.
Count On Me Like 1, 2, 3
100% of our respondents say they have someone in their lives that they can lean on for support!
88% of our respondents are able to provide the same support to others, and 12% of them feel that they may not be in a position to do so.
American-German psychologist, Eric Erikson had once said, “Life doesn’t make any sense without interdependence. We need each other, and the sooner we learn that, the better for us all.” Needing a little help to get by days that only bog you down is not a deed of shame, it is one of courage. Sometimes, support from someone, anyone, can turn the day around.
Recognising this need, our respondents shed light on their support system, along with how grateful they are for it.
Kinshuk, a 21-year-old from Bangalore says, “Yes. I am living with my sister and it’s definitely better to have someone to fall back on a bad day. I wanted to seek professional help but talking about my thoughts and feelings on video chat didn’t seem right or benefiting.”
Meg G is of the opinion that she may be burdening people by speaking to them, and might be getting bogged by their baggage, too.
However, Samiksha Chaudhary from Chandigarh may have a perspective that could help – “A lot of people believe that checking in is merely asking the other person how they are coping. But I feel what works for me is my friends randomly sending me a song saying it reminded them of me.” She also fondly recalls what her college roommate and best friend says to her – storms don’t last forever. We couldn’t have said it better!
8 months into the pandemic, it is easy to lose sight of not only what the future holds, but also what we gained prior to the lockdown. To feel lost, overwhelmed and scared is natural.The responses we illicit due to these emotions are new for everyone. It is, however, of utmost importance to remember that protecting your own peace isn’t selfish, withdrawing yourself can be healthy and as cliche as it may sound, this is all temporary.
Annoyingly, we did have to get used to the ‘new normal’ (we don’t like that term any more than you do), but we hope that you do not accept your mental health now as something that you must get used to, too. Pandemics are meant to pass, but your mental well-being is here to stay. So take that day off, drink that green tea, hum your favourite tune, sleep that extra hour, and above all, look after yourself – you are all you’ve got.
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