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Stepping away from the comfort of your own home can be extremely freeing but at the same time, can be daunting. The outside world is filled with curves and obstacles that could taint our lives forever. As a woman, navigating spaces could produce its own novel problems. Here’s what some young women had to say about their experience of living away from home.
I. Namrata Bhagia
How was your experience of moving out for the first time?
I was born and brought up in Jaipur, it’s been 8 years since I left home. I moved to Pune when I was just 17 to pursue law from Symbiosis. I came across a myriad of cultures, personalities and people. It was difficult to process the change initially which was probably why my personality was quiet and subdued. However, most people were extremely friendly and fun. I don’t even remember missing home!
How has the experience benefited you?
I thank my stars that my parents were completely okay with me moving out at 17. Some of my friends back home didn’t get to take that decision. It taught me to value money –– living on 5000 a month was not easy. Entertainment, dining and recreation were a bit too heavy on the pocket. Then came the guilt of spending your parents’ hard-earned money on those things. It taught me to be courteous to those living with me –– at home my clothes used to magically fold themselves. Here, I had to pick up after myself. Once I moved to Bombay for work immediately after graduating, the sky-high rent hit me hard in the face. I learnt how to haggle with pesky landlords, stand up for myself and deal with confrontations. There was nobody to guide me except for my experiences with people. I’m still not a good judge of character but that seems to be improving too now.
What are some of the drawbacks of living away from home?
Living in Bombay? RENT! The absurd amount of money that I spend on living in a 2bhk apartment compared to a sprawling bungalow back home makes me cry every night.
Do you have any advice for first-timers?
Get out of your comfort zone, travel, don’t be judgmental of people because of where they’re from, be empathetic.
II. Tanya Chowhan
How was your experience of moving out for the first time?
At the quarter-life crisis, that is at 25, it’s hard, but it’s good. I’m proud to make my own decisions.
How has the experience benefited you?
It has made me more confident, resilient, fearless, flexible, practical and helped me make peace with what I have.
What are some of the drawbacks of living away from home?
Financial expenditure and sometimes being prone to every addiction and hard to reconcile.
Do you have any advice for first-timers?
Don’t expect anything. Be more confident and fearless you thought you would be. Take your health seriously. Be wiser and value the time that is given to you. Let the time teach you everything.
Shape yourself! You need it. Value your family and your bonds. Stay connected! Stop setting so many rules, because nothing goes as per the plan. Be prepared for the change. Step outside your comfort zone. Meet people! Find your tribe! Work towards your goals in difficult times. And, don’t forget to take a moment to breathe and appreciate where you are. Nothing comes easy! It’s going to be fun, as far as you take it as an adventure! You will enjoy it!
III. Tanur Shah
How was your experience of moving out for the first time?
I moved out and moved country, from Mumbai to destinations that had no postcodes, and sometimes no electricity or running water. To be able to leave the comforts of home and culture and to confront that which is unknown, language, food and land was the most liberating and enriching experience of my life. I moved to the wilds of Tanzania and instead of waking up to honking cars, I woke up to elephants at my doorstep. Instead of going to bars, I was drunk on the African night sky. Everything I owned was suddenly fit into 2 bags and I moved every 2 years.
How has the experience benefited you?
I learned that we actually need very little to be happy. In fact, now, when I’m “re-settled” and beginning to gain regular possessions, it scares me a little. I learned so much about different cultures and people, the variety of expressions but the same intrinsic characteristics that make us human. I watched nature in all her grandiosity and that gave me a profound wealth which will never leave me. I learned self-reliance in emotionally and physically testing times and became more independent minded. I no longer feel as if I can be “lost” in a foreign land. And also, I learned to climb the challenging ropes of dealing with administrations to secure daily needs and issues.
What are some of the drawbacks of living away from home?
You won’t be able to hug your loved ones or kiss your dog. You won’t have your favourite food or the comfort of that safe space all the time. But what beautiful ever blossomed in comfort?
Do you have any advice for first-timers?
Everything you need is within you. Don’t get comfortable because it will never allow you to move. Take the first step and the path will appear –– you won’t have all the answers in the beginning but you will always find them along the way.
IV. Nicole Ruth
How was your experience of moving out for the first time?
Super stressful. Packing more than two decades of life into a suitcase is a nightmare yet exciting.
How has the experience benefited you?
Learnt A LOT about saving and managing finances. I learnt that being independent is so much more than just paying for your own drinks and paying rent.
What are some of the drawbacks of living away from home?
It can get lonely from time to time. And there’s no bigger nightmare than dealing with maids and being hyper-aware if they try to steal your stuff.
Do you have any advice for first-timers?
Never pay more than 1/3rd of your salary as rent. Always be careful about who your roommates are, and paying rent should be your first priority before spending on anything else.
V. Riddhi Iyer
How was your experience of moving out for the first time?
It was terrifying. I’ve been in a hostel all my life so my assumption was I wouldn’t ever have to leave mum again but then I had to go for my masters and for the first few months in a new country, I couldn’t sleep without having spoken to her.
How has the experience benefited you?
I’ve been more comfortable with being all by myself and being responsible for any decision I make. I’m thinking thrice before anything I do and just learning to adult, I suppose.
What are some of the drawbacks of living away from home?
You’re not necessarily eating right and probably falling ill often. The hectic life of a uni student gets in the way and so your eating patterns go for a walk as so does your hygiene at times. You definitely need someone to snap you out of it and help you get back on track with a healthier lifestyle.
Do you have any advice for first-timers?
Find people who are in a similar situations. They become family soon and will always have your back, no matter what.
VI. Sukriti Gupta
How was your experience of moving out for the first time?
I have lived away from for short periods since I was a child; but my first experience away from home was when I moved to Melbourne, Australia at the age of 26. I am a free soul and have never felt at home anywhere. The only part of my house that felt like ‘home’ was my bed. But then came Melbourne. Its been called the World’s Most Liveable City some 7 times in a row. Surely this would feel like home? Instead, I felt my lowest lows, darkest days, longest nights and maiden fears here. But I could not go back home to Delhi. I suddenly find myself without a home now.
How has the experience benefited you?
I have been tested left, right and centre. I don’t know if I am stronger but I can verify that I am resilient. The lack of routine human connection does things we don’t imagine.
What are some of the drawbacks of living away from home?
Nothing in the word can replace your bed. Nothing.
Do you have any advice for first-timers?
Meet LOTS of people in the first one month. Everyone is new. Everyone wants to meet people. Give yourself more options in the beginning so that even if a few people fall out along the way, you are not left isolated!
VII. Junisha Dama
How was your experience of moving out for the first time?
It was scary at first, but it was something I always wanted to do. I live in a joint family in Mumbai, so stepping out of a city where you have everything available was tough. I mean, people come to the city of dreams, and I was moving away from it. But, I had to do it for my peace of mind.
How has the experience benefited you?
I think it has allowed me to know myself more. I know what I’m capable of and it’s a good way to be independent, truly. When you’re living at home, there will be some need that someone will end up fulfilling. But living away from home means you have to ensure the littlest things like ensuring you have garbage bags are taken care of.
What are some of the drawbacks of living away from home?
It does get lonely at times, especially if you’re in a new city. Leaving home also means leaving family and friends behind. If you’re in a city where you don’t know anyone, like I am; it means not having an active social life. And, leaving home also means having to come home from work to cook your own meals, cleaning and doing every little chore. There’s no help.
Do you have any advice for first-timers?
Be easy on yourself. Know that it’s okay to not be good at living alone. You’ll take time to adjust to it. And more importantly, it’s okay to mess up. And, it’s okay to ask for help. Your friends and family are not going to judge you.
VIII. Palak Tongya
How was your experience of moving out for the first time?
I come from Bhopal, a relatively small city with not much traction and not much to do. Moving out was always such an exciting idea; new life, friends, city life, etc. So after schooling when I had the opportunity to join a college in Bangalore I pounced at it with everything. I stayed with 2 other girls, in a crammed PG/Hostel room with half a cupboard, a single bed and my suitcases to my name. Eating food I had never eaten before, people I had never known and a city that was like a foreign land to me.
How has the experience benefited you?
I know how to put on the biggest smile, go to the best clubs, and have sex; all while there’s a storm going inside of me. I can stay anywhere (almost I guess) with people I’ve never met and may never connect to. I’ve learnt how to live with little or no money left. Eat rasam rice every day.
What are some of the drawbacks of living away from home?
You may never feel at home. Ever. I thought food was the most important aspect of a drawback, and while it is, but the feeling of meant-to-be, familiarity and sense of belonging may never happen. It’s not happened for me still. It can be painful.
Do you have any advice for first-timers?
Your first 6 months in a new city are gonna be priceless so live it big and have so much fun! Get drunk, befriend everyone, just fill yourself with life. Try to find people you really connect with, explore the city, and don’t take anything too seriously. Learn how to cook and stay in touch with your family.
IX. Grusha Dhawan
How was your experience of moving out for the first time?
Driven by a weird giddy mix of anxiety and excitement. I’m a generally anxious person. From new roads to new people, everything makes me anxious. And moving out was all of this and more. But I was also very motivated to experience the new, with the hope that it would be better and bigger. Moving out from Delhi to Bombay forced me to grow out of my old pair of socks and fit into bigger, better ones.
How has the experience benefited you?
It’s given me immense confidence. I never thought I’d be able to live anywhere but at home. But Bombay proved me wrong and how! (thanks Bombay)
What are some of the drawbacks of living away from home?
Keeping in touch with your parents who still use technology as a medium of recreation and not a necessity. I can’t expect them to know what I am up to because I put up an Instagram story about it. And because of the lack of communication, the distance grows and it feels like they’re missing out on some of the important years of your life. You’re stuck in a limbo. You don’t know what’s home anymore. The place where you sleep every day or the place you miss every day before sleeping. Long-distance friendships. So exhausting. And hard. So so hard.
Do you have any advice for first-timers?
Visit home more often. It’s very easy to get carried away with the new, but you have to keep in touch with the old to remember where you came from and track your growth. Only when I used to come back home to Delhi from Bombay, I used to realise how much I’ve grown up. And give a little pat on my back and celebrate with homemade chicken curry!
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