Short Film ‘Over A Cup Of Chai’ Unpacks The Complexity Of Mother-Daughter Relationships
“The most personal is the most creative,” the Korean auteur Bong Joon-Ho said during his Oscar acceptance speech for Parasite (2019), supposedly quoting Martin Scorsese. Filmmaker Anvita Brahmbhatt follows the same mantra in her practice. Brahmbhatt’s short film ‘Over A Cup Of Chai’ is a profoundly personal look at the complexities of mother-daughter relationships and the weight of parental expectations.
A moving portrait of familial love and generational change, the film follows a conversation between Ratna Pathak Shah’s Saira and her daughter Nitya (played by Dalai), and reveals how much can be said, unsaid, and negotiated over a cup of tea. Unlike Bollywood’s reverent, one-dimensional portrayals of mothers — long-suffering and self-sacrificing — Brahmbhatt offers someone harder to classify in Saira. Ratna Pathak Shah plays Saira not as a cruel, distant, or unavailable mother figure, but as someone evasive and wary of her daughter’s autonomy. Dalai’s Nitya, too, is not simply rebellious for the sake of it, but emotionally open in a way her mother — and many real-life Indian mothers — finds unfamiliar. The film doesn’t build towards a dramatic confrontation or a tidy resolution between the two. Instead, it lingers in the unease, the silence, the hesitation, and the moments of retreat between a parent and a child who may not see eye-to-eye on everything. It respects the tension between them.
Independent Indian cinema has only recently begun to explore the emotional complexities of this relationship. Films like Goldfish and Girls Will Be Girls have broken the stereotypes of the perfect mother or the ungrateful daughter. Over A Cup Of Chai adds to this emerging canon by recognising the parental space as a site of negotiation. In Over A Cup Of Chai, Brahmbhatt does not necessarily offer us any easy answers; instead, she asks why we have avoided the questions for so long.
Earlier this week I spoke to Brahmbhatt about the film, fictionalising personal stories for the screen, and what makes films like Goldfish, Girls Will Be Girls and Over A Cup Of Chai stand out amidst other Indian mainstream movies about mothers and daughters.
The film opens with a loaded remark from Ratna Pathak Shah’s Saira to her daughter Nitya: You've put on a bit of weight, though. This creates an undercurrent of tension that crescendos as the film progresses. How did your own lived experiences, or the lived experiences of other women in your life, inform the shape of this story?
Credit where credit is due, that line of dialogue was improvised by Ratna Pathak Shah on set. The idea of meeting your mom or family member, particularly in India, after some time has passed causing discomfort or awkwardness has been a common experience for me and my friends who went abroad to study. Usually, weight becomes the one thing considered acceptable to comment on. Even with changing times, and the West advocating for body inclusivity, Indian society has not progressed in that department. The film starting on the note highlights that distinction: the daughter, coming in from New York, more comfortable sitting in the awkwardness, and the mother, living in India, instantly commenting on her weight to fill the silence. That translates in later scenes where the daughter attempts to approach, and her mother escapes. Difficult conversations between my mother and me, my sister and my mother, and more so communication gaps in an attempt to protect the peace in the family mainly guided my writing for the film.
In translating something so intimate and personal, how did you navigate the line between emotional honesty and narrative authority? What were the challenges of writing and making such a personal film that also has universal resonance?
I think while writing and making a project, as a writer-filmmaker, I don't think about the film's journey post completion. My job as an artist is to convey the story with full honesty and authenticity, being true to myself and my characters. I write characters first, and then the plot follows. I adore all the characters I have written; there is no room for judgement in the space that I create their lives. Writing anything personal takes a toll on a writer — it does for me. I have heard other writers talk about that as well. I had to relive certain harsh words and comments I exchanged with my mom in moments of heat and immaturity, and that caused a sense of accountability but also regret and pain. I was incredibly attached to these characters and this story from the very first day, and a sense of emotional honesty kept me grounded to the core of the project. On difficult days — production issues, rifts with actors — I wanted to give up on the film, that very core kept me going. I wrote from a place of personal experience, and to make peace and continue to evolve in my relationship with my mom. I noticed the resonance of the project when friends, girls my age, watched it and emoted with me. Knowing that my film has touched a few hearts, and forces mothers and daughters to have difficult but important conversations is surreal. I find that to be the greatest privilege of being an artist. And as Martin Scorsese told Bong-Joon Ho: "The most personal is the most creative". That, I hope, will always define my filmography.
Mainstream Hindi cinema either idealises or sidelines the complexities of the mother-daughter relationship in South Asia. What did you feel most compelled to foreground in Over A Cup of Chai?
Luckily, independent cinema exists and begins to explore what mainstream cinema doesn't. Two prime examples of films that explore the complex mother-daughter relationship are Goldfish, with Kalki (Koechlin) and Deepti Naval and Girls will be Girls by Shuchi Talati with Kani Kusruti and Preeti Panigrahi. I did think of using my film to set a standard of showcasing more such realistic relationships. It is my duty as an artist to reflect on how society functions through cinema. That being said, I did not want to idealise the rifts either. Every relationship has its ups and downs, and I wanted to highlight that the human condition remains unique and perplexing due to the grays in people. No one is black or white, we are all flawed and those flaws make for these relationships. I want us to talk about uncomfortable moments rather than shy away from it. We, as humanity, will only learn and progress from our shortcomings. I wanted this film to be a conversation starter and for all of us to ask: Other than being a mother, daughter, sister, wife: can we begin to look at women as well-rounded human beings, and learn to empathize with them?
Over A Cup Of Chai has been selected and is set to premiere at the New York Indian Film Festival.
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