Short Film ‘Over A Cup Of Chai’ Unpacks The Complexity Of Mother-Daughter Relationships

Credit where credit is due, that line of dialogue was improvised by Ratna Pathak Shah on set. The idea of meeting your mom or family member, particularly in India, after some time has passed causing discomfort or awkwardness has been a common experience for me and my friends who went abroad to study. Usually, weight becomes the one thing considered acceptable to comment on. Even with changing times, and the West advocating for body inclusivity, Indian society has not progressed in that department. The film starting on the note highlights that distinction: the daughter, coming in from New York, more comfortable sitting in the awkwardness, and the mother, living in India, instantly commenting on her weight to fill the silence. That translates in later scenes where the daughter attempts to approach, and her mother escapes. Difficult conversations between my mother and me, my sister and my mother, and more so communication gaps in an attempt to protect the peace in the family mainly guided my writing for the film. 

I think while writing and making a project, as a writer-filmmaker, I don't think about the film's journey post completion. My job as an artist is to convey the story with full honesty and authenticity, being true to myself and my characters. I write characters first, and then the plot follows. I adore all the characters I have written; there is no room for judgement in the space that I create their lives. Writing anything personal takes a toll on a writer — it does for me. I have heard other writers talk about that as well. I had to relive certain harsh words and comments I exchanged with my mom in moments of heat and immaturity, and that caused a sense of accountability but also regret and pain. I was incredibly attached to these characters and this story from the very first day, and a sense of emotional honesty kept me grounded to the core of the project. On difficult days — production issues, rifts with actors — I wanted to give up on the film, that very core kept me going. I wrote from a place of personal experience, and to make peace and continue to evolve in my relationship with my mom. I noticed the resonance of the project when friends, girls my age, watched it and emoted with me. Knowing that my film has touched a few hearts, and forces mothers and daughters to have difficult but important conversations is surreal. I find that to be the greatest privilege of being an artist. And as Martin Scorsese told Bong-Joon Ho: "The most personal is the most creative". That, I hope, will always define my filmography.

Luckily, independent cinema exists and begins to explore what mainstream cinema doesn't. Two prime examples of films that explore the complex mother-daughter relationship are Goldfish, with Kalki (Koechlin) and Deepti Naval and Girls will be Girls by Shuchi Talati with Kani Kusruti and Preeti Panigrahi. I did think of using my film to set a standard of showcasing more such realistic relationships. It is my duty as an artist to reflect on how society functions through cinema. That being said, I did not want to idealise the rifts either. Every relationship has its ups and downs, and I wanted to highlight that the human condition remains unique and perplexing due to the grays in people. No one is black or white, we are all flawed and those flaws make for these relationships. I want us to talk about uncomfortable moments rather than shy away from it. We, as humanity, will only learn and progress from our shortcomings. I wanted this film to be a conversation starter and for all of us to ask: Other than being a mother, daughter, sister, wife: can we begin to look at women as well-rounded human beings, and learn to empathize with them?