PornHub Is Giving Free Premium Membership To People That Spot Suggestive Names

PornHub Is Giving Free Premium Membership To People That Spot Suggestive Names

In a room full of people, what is the one question you’d literally rather die than answer?

Everyone has a few skeletons in their closet, but for close to 70,000 people, through no fault of their own, there’s only one question they lose sleep over having to ever answer in public. And it’s their misfortune that it’s quite possibly the most frequently asked one - Where are you from?

Imagine you’re a young woman fresh out of university, you’ve recently moved to the big city - full of hopes and dreams and so much to achieve. It’s the first day of work, and you’re getting to know your new co-workers while discreetly eyeing that cute boy by the watercooler (could this be your Pam and Jim moment?) when Priya from accounting asks you the one question you’ve been dreading. You wish the floor would open up and swallow you whole before you ever have to answer. But a lifetime of avoiding it has made you adept at coming up with a quick, “Where am I from? Oh just this small town in Tamil Nadu, you’ve probably never heard of it.” Priya from accounting, though, is adamant - that old hag. You picture strangling her as you stoically smile and mutter through your teeth, “Cumbum.” Cumbum. CumBum. Cumbum. No matter which syllable you stress on, it’s all bad. I mean, it’s a Bum made of Cum. Or is it Cum from your Bum? It’s so bad that the government should probably consider giving free counseling to all Cumbum residents.

But Pornhub, resident Good Guy of the Porn-iverse, has done one better. They’re offering free lifetime Premium membership to everyone living in places with unintentional double entendre names. Rejoice, residents of Loda Junction, your time has finally come. The time of Bum has Cum.

In order to compensate for being the butt of jokes exactly like the ones above, PornHub has made freely available to you the entire expanse of paid porn on one of the leading porn websites in the world. They currently have made this option available to the residents of close to 50 cities in the world, including Cumbum from India. Other fortunately unfortunate cities include Penistone, Lower Dicker, Orgy, La Vagina, and Fucking to name a few. I wish I was making these up but it’s true: there exist actual people - responsible, professional adults, who live in a town called Fucking. It’s amazing. Maybe nothing can cure the lifetime of ridicule the residents of these places have had to endure, but at least having access to free quality porn for the rest of their lives can try to make up for it.

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