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The topic of sex is still largely taboo in India, with sex education also being banned across certain states. There is very little understanding of our own bodies and conversations around intimacy, sexuality, and pleasure are not openly welcomed. This is a strange reality for a country that gifted the Kama Sutra (Sanskrit text on eroticism and emotional fulfilment in life) to the world and had always maintained a liberated idea of sex in ancient times.
In opposition to present-day conservatism, young Indians around the country have begun to explore the many aspects of desire and fantasy with the advent of ‘adult products’ or sex toys. Multiple indie brands such as PrivyPleasures, Love Treats and I am Besharam provide an experimental and kinky collection of toys, lingerie and a variety of other products to spice up your sex life.
Overall, when it comes to matters of pleasure, we seem to be reluctant in discussing these topics openly but the reality is that more and more young individuals have no qualms about getting some additional help when it comes to making their sex lives better. To get an insight into the adventures of the fifth most sexually active country, we asked Indian couples about their experience of using sex toys and how it helps with aspects such as intimacy and self-love.
Sex toys have helped individuals to embrace their own bodies and sexuality in addition to assisting couples in maximising their experience. Khus* a young woman currently pursuing law told us, “The use of sex toys is desirable as it is a pursuit of self-satisfaction and self-love too. It provides you with the agency to control yourself and results in a more pleasurable experience.” Similarly 38-year-old Shaahkar believes that “Sex toys are an add-on in the shared experience of couples; an additional companion of sorts.”
Expanding on the role of sex toys in a relationship, 26-year-old Lakshya explains, “It is a good way to explore different sexual fantasies as it always increases the pleasure derived from the play together.” Further, we asked a 24-year-old Samik* about her encounter with adult toys and how she integrates them into her relationship. “Individually if the exploration of pleasure and satisfaction is say X, then as a couple the same experience of explorations and outcomes increases to 2X and 3X.”
As most responders claimed that conversations around sexual pleasure and intimacy are welcomed in their relationships, they further elucidated on what initially inspired them to explore the space of sex toys. Samik* mentioned that “The idea of deriving pleasure in the combination of a partner and a toy feels straight out of fiction, erotica, literature and similar social media talks has lead us to explore each other with the use of sex toys.”
The advent of sex-positive influencers and informative content on social media platforms is one of the main propellers in expanding people’s knowledge in the area of adult toys and their many uses. Removing the shame, guilt and fear associated with buying something that is used to derive sexual pleasure, creators such as Seema Anand and Leeza Mangaldas are broadening the conversation by sharing multiple ways to use sex toys to aid intimacy in relationships.
Shaahkar explains that even though the overall experience has been positive, if there is any downside or hindrance to the use of sex toys, it has to be their high prices. Most kits are in the range of Rs. 3990 going up to Rs.7990; making them inaccessible to the majority of Indian population. The fact that these products are even available online in India beyond the small nooks and corners of Delhi’s Palika Bazaar or Mumbai’s Crawford market is a positive beginning, however.
These advancements play a pivotal role in sexual wellness and in embracing one’s own sexuality. It provides us with agency over our own pleasure at an individual level as well as in relationships. By giving us the possibility to explore even more shared fantasies, these intimate toys are helping young couples accept the liberating aspects of sex; further making room for safe sex practices and an empowering view of pleasure.
Names with (*) have been changed for anonymity
