Once upon a time, in a land of tangled, multi-wired electrical poles, was a kingdom of cross-connections. Ruled by a series of disgruntled barks between two confused strangers, fate played cupid. Nobody made it to a happily ever after but the wonderous world of ‘coincidences’ did allow for a ‘happy for a reasonable amount of time.’
“When you’re 16 and you hear a sexy voice on the other end of an obvious cross-connection after you’ve been in an all-girls boarding school, what would you do?”
The answer here makes for a great tale to tell — this 16-year-old was at a sleepover back then, at a friend’s house when the landline rang. It was a cross-connection, that led to a conversation due to the unexpectedly sexy voice on the other end:
“We’re having a sleepover! So my friend is over too.”
“That’s a funny coincidence, so is mine.”
Said friend whose home our 16-year-old was in, also had another landline, on which this duo made conversation as well. Thus, a new story began, one that led to them meeting up and a slightly unhealthy obsession that followed, which may have led to a dramatic ending, but nonetheless makes for a great tale to tell today.
Fate can work in mysterious ways, wreaking havoc as it goes. But can today’s generation say the same? We’ve got our thumbs doing all the work, matches being made virtually, and a digital profile to hide behind; turning the tables and putting fate to the test. Perhaps our generation may never experience the chaos that comes with destiny pulling the strings — unless accidentally swiping right on your soulmate’s flatmate led you there.
There’s little room left for great love stories to tell in our day and age, which is what made us nostalgic for some old-school love this time of the year; the kind that’s stood the test (and patience!) of time.
These stories aren’t just about ending up together, they’re simply about celebrating the beauty and simplicity of love, before it was touched by technology.
I. Anshita and Nukul
Let’s pop pimples!
“In one line? 23 years of friendship, 11 years of being in a relationship and 3 years of marriage — forever to go!” says Anshita, an engineer by qualification, a YouTuber by choice, an aspiring stand-up comedian, a walking tour guide, and a social media editor, about her relationship with her husband Nukul, a design engineer who works in the automobile sector, assembling and designing cars.
As all tales go, these two had their own cute little beginning that trails all the way back to the second grade, when Nukul joined her school. “He says he fell in love with me the first time I offered him a bite from my lunch box. I feel like he makes it all up sometimes but then he says it with a twinkle in his eyes, which is quite convincing and cute.”
Since then, they remained friends albeit with several highs and lows. It was only in the 12th grade when they knew the other would be moving out to pursue different career paths that they confessed their love. “It was a different era though. Jammu was a conservative place, so our dates included attending practicals together and making notes for each other. We mastered sign languages, eye contact and even developed our own morse code of blank calls on our landlines that we changed every 2 weeks to ensure our families didn’t find out. ”
However, the time soon came for them to leave — Nukul to Kopargaon and Anshita to Pune. Maintaining a long-distance relationship was a new level of hell for the duo, post conservative Jammu. Besides only meeting once a month, their parents too found out about their relationship and weren’t the happiest.
“The internet at this point had still not hit us, except for emails. We had basic mobile phones and Airtel’s amazing happy hours.” They made it work for four more years, following which they began with their professional lives. Two years went by in Pune, until Nukul left to pursue his Master’s degree in Germany, leading to them spending three more years apart. “Being technically committed but geographically single was frustrating, especially for me as I was juggling between fighting with my family about our relationship, getting engaged, and then planning our wedding over broken Skype calls.”
Come March 2015, they were finally married! Anshita moved to Germany, to live with Nukul, where they set on a whole new journey — but this time around, right by each other’s side. Anshita ponders, “Even though love is an important building block of any relationship, it cannot really save it. Our friendship has saved our relationship so many times! I have to say though, true love really does exist and transcends all dimensions — time, space and the internet.”
When asked if they would have had the same connection if they had met online in this day and age, Anshita stays positive, “I believe that what is meant to happen, will happen. If we met online, I think we would’ve still maintained this connection, but it would still need work. It’s hard online when you have so many options to choose from and the rate of disappointment is higher because there is constant comparison. People are insecure, impatient and indecisive. I get it! If I was single now, I would feel the same way. It’s really tough.”
“Remember you’re not seeking love, you’re just seeking to be loved and that is totally fine. Just be honest, say what you feel and do not, I repeat, do not underplay yourself. Let someone love you or hate you, for who you are. You never know, you may actually find love along the way.”
II. Jasmine and Manmeet
Trust, Trial, Togetherness.
An arranged marriage may not be your ideal love story but when Jasmine put it down in a poem, we had little room to argue. From a geeky economics lecturer, an administrator, a blogger, and a mother, to standup acts, blogging and penning poetry, she’s found a way to connect with people across genders and generations. Here’s an excerpt from her poem on the same, to give you a brief idea of their story:
“In this era of millennial fast food romance,
I dish out the story of our two decades old romance.
Cooked up with all traditional and organic ingredients.
In an age where internet plays cupid more often than not,
This one from the pre-internet era might sound slow and bland.
Trust me, it was anything but that!
Many moons and some three decades’ back,
Two tender teenage minds were getting moulded,
In different houses, hundreds of miles apart.
Stepping nimble feet into teenage,’
Google wasn’t the teacher we had
Tinder wasn’t the temptation to resist,
A few biology chapters were the sex education we had!”
As Jasmine goes on to say, it was at the age of 22 when her parents proposed the idea of Manmeet as a match. Through their meeting, Jasmine remembers fondly how she yearned for a one-to-one, ready to fire away until she was stunned into silence:
“Inside I was shocked and surprised
Why the hell was I being the doe-eyed listener?
Then abruptly he asked for my hand,
As if he were an astrologer!
In normal circumstances, the meeting would have been adjourned.
If times were today’s,
He would have certainly been blocked.
But this heart of mine was in some heady trance.”
They stayed engaged for three years after, went on umpteen dates and throughout, continued to exchange prose and poetry. As she says below, they did have their differences — in fact, till date, 22 years down the line, they continue to agree to disagree:
“Our 17 year old often rolls on the floor laughing
How we both are like chalk and cheese
Agreeing to disagree on every little thing
And I’m forever amazed at the wheel of destiny
How time flew by with wings!
Many a times I’ve wanted to ask Him,
That supreme matchmaker above
“What math and science you apply?
To make poles apart meet.
Or do you do it deliberately,
To keep yourself mighty entertained?”
When we asked if it was a bumpy road to their happiness today, she jokes, “Given his passion for speed, we literally flew off the bumps, only to land back in each other’s arms.” She continues, dwelling on how their story would’ve played out in our online generation, “It’s difficult to say since there wasn’t an ecosystem embedded with technology during our times. We feel that online, though convenient, is an impersonal form of knowing each other. Love needs to be felt, to be dealt, rather than being just liked, swiped and commented upon. Digitisation is just an optical mode of emoticons, it can never be a substitute or a facilitator.”
III. Reha and Nitish
Surreal.
This tale begins at an unsuspecting camp in Chandigarh — a place Reha assumed her story began and would end. “Nitish was funny, respectful and goofy! He managed to trace me using the directory and we started talking on the phone almost on a daily basis. We were only 13 years old, so it was innocent and perhaps confusing. I ended up moving to Jaipur just as we were beginning to understand our feelings, which is how we began our long-distance relationship.”
They would save every penny from their pocket money to buy calling cards and secretly spent nights talking on the phone, and Reha reminisces, “Nitish had figured a wiring on his terrace and even during the coldest Chandigarh winter nights, he would talk to me for hours.” They wrote each other letters too, which Reha says she would read at least 50 times. Their long-distance relationship continued for years with both of them moving continuously across cities, leading to them going on for 5 years without seeing each other. After that, they met about 5 - 6 times a year. “Mobiles came much later, to keep us connected. I still remember when Nitish wrote 8 letters to me as a surprise when I was in the hostel — it was one of the best feelings ever.”
Distance remained their biggest obstacle but they both knew that they wanted to be with one another, so they were always willing to put in that extra effort. “This meant that Nitish made day trips to Delhi, just to see me for a few hours. I would wake up at odd hours in London to be able to speak to him. All this effort made us very, very good friends too.”
Fifteen years after they first met, they finally got married, and are now settled in Goa, where Reha focuses on work in the development sector in leadership and life-skills education, while Nitish is a UI/UX designer. They spend their time enjoying a multitude of hobbies like stargazing, cooking, bird watching, swimming, and most importantly, training their golden retriever to be their travel, camping and hike companion.
She leaves us with a little message for those looking for love today, “Never underestimate the value of walking up to someone to start a conversation. The internet can never replace genuine, honest eye contact.”
IV. Angela and Matt
Growing, Supportive, Loving.
Before the internet truly took off in India (early 90’s), Osho’s commune in Pune is what brought these two together. “We were friends for a few years before we fell in love. We were both working in the Photography department of Osho’s commune in Pune and you could say...things ‘developed’ there,” she laughs.
Matt left for England a few months after, while Angela stayed on in Pune, finishing off the last few months of her degree. They wrote lots of letters, at least twice a week as international phone calls were very expensive — restricting their calls to only once a month! “When we really wanted to reach each other immediately, we faxed! Matt’s faxes to me would arrive in the commune’s Telecom Department. The operators were my friends so they’d call and tell me. I’d rush off on my Kinetic under the Gulmohar trees to go get it! We’d send each other mixtapes with music and us speaking, which were just heaven. We literally had no idea when we’d see each other again.”
Four months later, Matt came back to see her, and for the next three years, they followed each other around the world, spending months together in Pune, Australia, and London until they decided enough was enough. They got married three years later, on their roof terrace in Pune. Even after they got married though, they spent about a year apart while their paperwork was done — Matt was in England while Angela was in Mumbai.
“I moved to England after, and here we are 25 years later! In a sense, we’ve grown up together as we were so young when we got together. We definitely had bumps along the road, who doesn’t?! Long-distance relationships are hard, the absence, the waiting for the postman/woman, the temptations, the missing...but coming back together was always very sweet.”
“If we met online, I literally have no idea how it would’ve been. I loved the letters, the handwriting, the mixtapes — I’m just happy we had our love story pre-internet! Being in the commune and having such a juicy place as a backdrop to our love was amazing too,” says Angela, about the digitalization of love today. She continues, “I think being digital just gives us so many walls to hide behind. We have to be super aware and conscious to realise that falling in love involves a lot of vulnerability. Every love story has its sweetness.”
V. Prithvi and Hena
Compatibility. Companionship. Comfort.
“This is no Channa Mereya. We’re together now, but I will admit, our love story is full of clichés.” Prithvi and Hena started in 2013, back in the 11th grade. He was an introvert who preferred his own company, more so after almost all his friends switched out of his school to pursue a stream of their choice. It was May 22, 2013 (yes, he remembers the exact date) that he fell for Hena. The first time he sat with her and she sang in ‘the sweetest, most beautiful’ voice. “She used to ask me for the cap of my huge Milton bottle so she could play the cup song. I remember my heart beating like a train engine, about to explode when I first told her how I felt,” he says, shedding light on how they first began.
However, it wasn’t as easy as that — they dated for a bit back then but stopped due to the people they were surrounded by (teachers and students alike) as well as other circumstances. They continued to stay friends after, eventually becoming the best of friends. Neither of them had a smartphone, so they found other ways to stay connected. “We took home tuitions together at her place and I even had lunch with her at one point. We cycled together every day and went out after school was over and done with. We did SMS each other too when we could.”
They’re both currently pursuing further studies, but have seen each other nearly every day for the last four years. “The age of the Internet helps with keeping in touch but it is a different feeling altogether to look into the eyes of your best friend, the love of your life, every day. People forget that it is more important to be happy with each other, rather than to seek validation from people online. Look up from your phone, look around yourself, look at the people you surround yourself with, really look and you might find that everything you want and need has been right in front of you the entire time!”
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