For the first time in a very long time, I liked my body when I started seeing it through the camera lens. Through a series of self-portraits, the crusty hold of the male gaze that I had been seeing myself from since a young age began to soften and I saw myself, even if was only for a little while. It wasn't as two-dimensional as “Oh I look good”. It was a viewpoint of acceptance that I had arrived at through a deliberately built environment. A precursor to the shoot consisted of putting on music that really resonated with me. There was also a riveting conversation with an ex-professor who enthusiastically entertained my ramblings about anything that moved me. So by the time I was in the frame, I had already created a landscape of my internal world that that I actualized to the physical realm and into the picture. Because when I looked, I saw not just a body but a person with a story.
This landscape is also the playground of New York-based photographer Debmalya Ray Choudhuri, who is known for his exceptionally profound portraits. The photographer's personal journey as a queer Indian immigrant in the US has significantly shaped his perspective. He believes that the common threads that connect all beings are our desires and fears that remain a subconscious part of us. For the artist, photography has become a tool to explore ‘society's economy of desire’, as he terms it. Beginning as a personal outlet for processing grief, his practice has also evolved into a search for the light, where he crafts layered narratives.
Deb doesn't confine his definition of queerness to just one's sexuality. "While exploring the sites of love, body, desire, and space has been part of my practice, being queer for me means to be fluid and to be able to not fall into the very boxes we wish to break free from," he explains. His work is rooted in building a community and connecting with individuals who challenge his own perspectives, ultimately fostering a shared understanding of the complexities of queer identity in contemporary society.
He views photography as an inherently performative act. The conscious awareness of being in front of the camera, he argues, creates a dynamic interplay between the subject and the image-maker. This performance, often subtle and nuanced rather than overtly theatrical, is central to his practice. For Debmalya, the photographic process is not merely technical but also relational, requiring trust and collaboration. By sharing the space and experience with his subjects, he creates an atmosphere of vulnerability and authenticity, creating photographs that possess depth and emotional resonance while coming from a place of genuine intimacy.
Debmalya's photographs are succinct but carry a dramatic appeal that arises out of the emotional landscapes he creates with his subjects through empathy. But while identity is part of the visual story, it's not overpowered by it. “What I wish to reveal and what I want to conceal is sometimes partly decided by me and my friends as well as the strangers I photograph and sometimes through chance or the editing process of the work. Many of those I photographed often live a complicated and vulnerable life and have survived traumatic experiences. So, while identities are essential in our social realm, I try not to make everything about the identity itself fall under the demands of a specific visual trope. By provoking a sense of anonymity and mystery in something simple, I create a psychological double portrait of me and the others. I create fiction through this mysterious method while maintaining the elements of reality that matter.”
As a photographer, he associates a distinct quality of magical realism with black-and-white photography. This monochromatic medium is perceived as a more contemplative form of visual expression, mirroring a desired state of tranquillity in both life and work. By stripping away the distractions of colour, black and white retains the essence of a scene while fostering a sense of quietude. Though colour is not entirely absent from their work, their early experiences with black-and-white film in India cultivated a subconscious inclination towards this aesthetic. While experimentation with colour and surrealist elements has occurred, the ultimate focus lies beyond mere visual style. Deb emphasizes the importance of personal perspective and genuine engagement with life as the foundation for authentic artistic expression. Consequently, aesthetic choices, whether visual or conceptual, are seen as natural outcomes of this underlying honesty.
Debmalya's initiation into the world of photography was profoundly shaped by personal trauma. Early experiences with serious illness and the loss of loved ones instilled in him a deep awareness of mortality and the urgency of living authentically. Photography emerged as a powerful tool with which he could navigate these challenges. A prolonged period of isolation was gradually illuminated by the creative process and offered him a means of self-expression and connection.
Despite feelings of alienation, Deb found a bridge to others through image-making. He describes photography as a form of world-building, where subjects become part of an invisible community. This approach, rooted in genuine human connection, has fostered lasting relationships, particularly within the queer community. And it's this empathy that reveals itself as the artist's real canvas.
“I always believed everyone was a stranger initially, but the magic happens when you show people love and truly listen. Photography comes much later in that process. At its core, their intense and intimate experiences have opened new ways of seeing and feeling life again.”
Follow Debmalya here.
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